14th Aug: Mid-Week Update (includes coarse language)

It’s turning to be another horrible week results-wise.

Here are some stats:

  • Monday 1W, 4L, 1 scratch: -0.80R
  • Tuesday 4W, 7L, 2 scratch: -3.03R
  • Wednesday 1W, 6L, 1 scratch: -2.87R

Key observations/highlights this week:

  • Monday I was fairly disciplined
  • Tuesday was not a good day – I took several trades that, following a review, were not valid setups
  • Wed – focusing on setup quality – I took one pure gamble trade on the DAX which resulted in a 1R loss – other than that the setups were ok
  • It’s working well to split my orders 50/50 between LMAX and FXCM.  Note all DAX and SPX trades I put through FXCM because they have offer a tighter spread on those.
  • Am paying more attention to MACD and Stochastic-Slow.
  • Trade Documentation – even though i am doing a large number of trades, I am still keeping chart shots of all of them – but am struggling to complete the remainder of my setup template.
  • This really feels like a battle against myself – I have a list of tasks and checks that I should be doing, but I am not always doing all of them – though it seems I am certainly doing more and more as time goes on.
  • On some of my trades I have not been applying my position management as rigidly as on others – on average this has led to losses closer to 1R, where as the trades where I manage more tightly, the losses tend to be smaller.  I don’t need to be an Albert Einstein to work that out – since basically every f***in trade loses anyway, tighter stop management would of course reduce losses.
  • Whenever I decide to be patient and use a pending order, rather than a market order, it seems to turn out to be the situation where price just takes off like a f***in Eurostar train and leaves me watching in despair – this has happened at least 3x this week (once on SPX, once on GBPAUD and can’t remember the others).  The times when I am rewarded for my patience and price takes my limit order – it generally ends up losing the trade – WTF!
  • The miss on SPX inspired me to punch the trading screen in frustration on Wed afternoon, after my colleagues had left the office.
  • Alcohol consumption is increasing a little and becoming more regular (though at least not during the trading sessions) – am I trying to ease the tension? I think speed-skating would be a much better method for easing the tension – though I am doing that too.
  • Sometimes I feel so stupid and incompetent for continuing to generate such terrible losses.  A f***in monkey would do better throwing darts at a pinned page of the Wall Street Journal.  Though on the upside this demonstrates my extreme discipline in terms of risk management and my persistence in keeping going, day in, day out – never trying to make money back by placing large positions.
  • Visualizations – have not been doing them
  • Psychological Assessment ratings – have been going down a bit.
  • This is a damn hard journey – a hard way to make a living.  

Right, that’s all for now.  8.15am – let’s get going and be a disciplined trader.  Remember – Oct2015 – blind faith in me eventually becoming a consistently profitable trader.

F**k the markets…. (and the f**ked up world that we all live in – shooting down of civilian airlines, unbelievable human astrocities in Iraq, continued fighting in Gaza, conflict in the Ukraine, apparently happy actors slashing their wrists and hanging themselves, ebola outbreaks, global warming ….)

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