Wrap up for the week

Objective Update:

Friday was another fairly awful trading session.  Took 4 four trades – all four were losing trades for a net loss of 1.86R. Those are pretty fantastic results – it makes me to 2W-10L for the week and a loss of 3.97R – I must be the world’s worst FX trader.

However, irrespective of results, how did I go about my trading:

  • I continued trading with good discipline as far as taking setups are concerned.  Out of the 12 trades, only two were invalid setups, and both of them I closed immediately once I had decided that the setup was invalid. Good 
  • I am continuing to put all FX trades through the LMAX broker in order to lower transaction costs. Thus far I have had no issues from doing that. Good
  • Didn’t do visualizations – this is because I am scared that I will miss setups in the time that I spending visualizing Bad
  • Trade documentation was completed promptly. Good
  • Refrained from taking post-news trades, as I have not done further work on developing a checklist. Good

On Sunday I am planning to review the EMA trades that I have taken over the past two weeks to see whether there are some insights that i can find – whether there are some things that i could improve.  I will try to do this using a 80/20 perspective.  I am just going to spend a little bit of time and try to identify the obvious – I have to bear in mind that I could in fact be doing everything right and that I have just managed to have a random cluster of losing results.   Though my gut feel as to the conclusions that I will come up with:

  • The setups I took were mostly valid
  • There was no clear defined method for managing the positions, and this worked against me
  • I was a bit unlucky at times
  • I missed some setups on the pairs that I trade

Subjective Update: And now for some brutally honest comments as to how I am feeling:

I noticed that as Friday progressed, and particularly once I had had a telephone call with BT regarding my home connection, I was becoming more and more angry inside.  Around 3.30pm I decided to let off some steam and went to Hyde Park just to look out over the lake there and have something to drink in the cafe (not coffee, not alcohol, not coke – that really narrows it down).  That was fairly much the end of the day for me – I did come back to the office and did a little bit of admin work.

On days like this I do not believe that I am going to make it.  No matter what I try, how disciplined I am, how hard I work – I just continue to amass losing trades – I must truly suck at trading.  There are others who have an abundance of constraints in terms of time, financial resources, relationships & children etc who manage to trade just fine – and there’s me with a well-funded bankroll, more or less unlimited amounts of time, and supposedly relevant work experience and skill sets, and working in an office with several other FX traders – and I can’t seem to make it.

These types of thought patterns do then spill over to have consequences in my ‘non-work life’ – I lose motivation to do things, I am more likely to eat unhealthy food, drink alcohol and have excessive numbers of double espressos.  I don’t feel like socializing with others.  I just want to spend all weekend in the office to try to figure out what is wrong with my trading.  As my self-image is primarily driven by my business success, I tend to not feel the greatest at these times.

Then again, these are just thoughts – and thoughts and perspectives can change very quickly – I guarantee you that if I trade well for a week and accumulate several R’s return, then I will promptly think the world is my oyster, that I am so lucky to have found FX trading as my passion and that there is no limit to how much wealth I can accumulate.

I am not sure whether it’s beneficial to document all these thoughts here.  Even as I am doing that, I can feel the frustration inside me starting to boil up, as if I want to punch through the monitors in front of me.  Maybe it would be better for me to document these thoughts offline or not at all.

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